We continue this series suggesting how to avoid many pitfalls in building interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone. Committed, loving relationships do not just happen. You may know that there is no success secret, no checklist of things to do, and just as important things not to do to make such relationships happen. But we do have many suggestions that focus on potential problems. We actually have a double series of articles for the letter P. The focus here is on pander, panic, and persecute.
P is for pander. Don’t pander to the crowd or to the boss. People have their misunderstandings and shortcomings but please don’t pry them up or praise them in consequence. For example, your boss Peter may have an ante-Deluvian viewpoint about women in positions of power. If the two of you are performing a job evaluation for Patricia, a female employee who you feel is yet not ready for a leadership role, make an extra effort not to reinforce Peter’s prejudice. Don’t pander to his backwardness. Why not spend time with Patricia helping her get ready for an expanded role in your organization?
P is for panic. Don’t push the panic button. Panicking is a sure way to achieve pandemonium or at least severe problems. We live in a place with cold, icy winters. One of the first things that people in our neck of the woods (most of the woods were cut down decades ago) learn about winter driving is to avoid slamming on the brakes when the car starts to skid. A slight touch of panic can transform an unpleasant situation into a genuine disaster. Don’t let your fear or your surprise shut off your thinking processes. In most cases, there is a solution available to your unexpected crisis. But if you panic you won’t find that solution while it still could be applied. And you’ll have plenty of time to ponder the consequences after the fact.
P is for persecute. There is nothing cute about persecution. That truism holds whether or not the persecutor and/or the persecuted person is a purse carrier. Or is cute. Do you disagree with Pat or Pam? Disagree if you want. You are permitted to dislike them. (Please don’t take it so far as hating their guts.) But don’t even think about persecuting them. Or they may turn around and prosecute you.
Are you tired of all this negativity? Take a look at our companion series that accentuates the positive.
Levi Reiss has authored or co-authored ten books on computers and the Internet, but to be honest, he would rather just drink fine Italian, French, or other wine, accompanied by the right foods and spend time with his wife and family. He teaches classes in computers at an Ontario French-language community college. Among his many web sites he is particularly proud of his new love and relationships site celebrating mostly spiritual and on occasion physical love at www.loveamourlove.com. You will find a wide range of articles devoted to various aspects of love, and a special collection of love quotes in both English and French (with translations.) Check out his global wine website at www.theworldwidewine.com.
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